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[Sep 20 2009 / 9:44am] happy Sunday babies! I feel great. I LOVE MY MAN. I LOVE SUNDAYS WITH HIS FAMILY. LOVE LOVE LOVE! 1 READ COMMENT

[Jun 23 2009 / 5:12pm] what ever happened to jr_nal?? 1 READ COMMENT

[Jan 07 2009 / 10:43pm] not much time. winter's depression is here. I can't make you go away. I want my smiles back. I had a horrible dream this morning and hyperventilated in my sleep. I awoke flying up in a sitting position covered in sweat trying to breathe but I couldn't suck any air into my lungs and I passed out falling back down onto my pillows. I don't know how long I was out for. I just want to cry today. he keeps asking my why I'm so depressed. "tired" wont work for him....but I have no explanation for him. I have no explanation for me even. I wish someone would say something. it could be the most random of things. this place is so lonely these days. 1 READ COMMENT

tired out. [Feb 27 2008 / 11:57pm] [ music | "six" - all that remains ] I recommend you all see Once. best film I've seen in a long time. READ COMMENT

shake it off. [Feb 12 2008 / 11:17am] [ music | "aries"- unearth ] I'm in a rut. things have been good for a long time. I could deal with all the fucking shit thrown at me. the past two weeks have been hell on earth. shaking and sweating everyday. feeling like I'm going to have a heartattack at any second. I've been taking my xanax again but shit, it makes me so tired it's hard to work. I need to get out of here for a while. I wish I could. it's been a long time since I've been away. more than likely I'll delete this in two days because I'll be beyond fine. READ COMMENT

[Oct 09 2007 / 9:09am] I just had the worst dream of my life. my grandparents came back to life and we're living in their old house. Juan lived with them in the room I used to sleep in. melissa took me over. I walked in and it was late..3am maybe. melissa stayed in the car. I walked into the bedroom juan was in and he told me my grandmother had been yelling at him all night. I didn't say anything. he said she'd just gone to bed. I looked in her and my grandfathers bedroom. I saw his feet peeking out from under the blanket and she was on her side like she always was snoring a bit. I said "grandma!" she was startled. later on, Juan, Melissa and I wound up in her car. he was saying how she was driving him nuts. how she told him he couldn't have his feet on the floor if he was in bed...wtf? weird. I had this feeling in my stomach not to agree with him calling her a nag. if I did I'd lose them again. ..he kept going and going so I finally just nodded. I wound up at work. it was raining. I called home.. my mom told me they died. my grandfather dying in the hospital and the doctors wouldn't help him. my grandmother sick, tried driving in the rain and smashed the car. it was the worst dream of my damn existence. the absolute worst. 1 READ COMMENT

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